10 Important Negotiation Skills We All Need

Negotiating – we all need to do it from time to time. Regardless of whether you are faced with a serious formal negotiation situation, say for instance setting new rates for reimbursement from an important funding sources, or something a bit more basic like negotiating an employment contract with a key employee, or arranging the procurement of new office space, knowing how to get to an acceptable place of agreement is a key skill that every business owner or manager should have. Here are some valuable things to know if you want to become an expert negotiator.

1. Plan your meeting in advance: Know what your goals are for the negotiation at hand. Think about acceptable alternatives, imagine yourself in the position of your negotiation “adversary”, and try to think about what their minimum acceptable agreement might look like. Do your homework!
2. Think before you talk: Or, in a phrase we sometimes use “engage brain before activating mouth”. An effective negotiator knows how to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstanding. Be prepared to say what you want, and list your reasons.
3. Stay neutral, emotionally: Don’t let your anger or frustration take over your session. This will almost always result in unnecessary concessions or prematurely breaking off the negotiation.
4. Listen: Careful/Active listening is a hallmark skill of a good negotiator. Let the other person speak and pay close attention to what he or she is saying before you start thinking about your reply. You will often hear exactly what you need to know to bring the negotiation to a successful conclusion when you listen closely.
5. Remember that negotiation, by definition, requires some give and take: Don’t expect to get everything you want while conceding nothing. A win/win outcome will often require that you give in on a point or two to gain your objective. Know where you are willing to compromise. If you give in on any point, be prepared to ask for something in return when you make a concession.
6. Don’t hurry: Nothing says “I need this” as much as being in a rush to reach the end of the negotiation. In any exchange, the person who is willing to take the most time has a definite advantage.
7. Be prepared to walk away: If you are willing to walk away from an agreement if it does not meet your needs, you gain a tremendous amount of leverage. Conversely, if you are up against a time deadline, or have limited options available, the leverage may shift to the other side.
8. Don’t take it personally: A good negotiation session usually requires a lot more candor and direct speaking than most of us are used to in other daily activities. Your adversary may hit below the belt if he thinks it will help him – don’t take that seriously afterwards. Avoid personal or ad hominem attacks from your end.
9. Look for the pivotal moment: In nearly every negotiation, the time comes when “the next person to speak loses”. Look for these moments when everyone’s cards are on the table and then shut up. Don’t be the next one to talk and take advantage of the pressure that your silence brings to the situation.
10. When you win, win gracefully and without further ado: Don’t gloat or be boastful. Never tell the other person what your ultimate bottom line would have been. Remember you may need to negotiate with them again in the future.

Remember that good negotiation skills are not valuable only in the business suite. They help you interact better with friends, family and community and resolve conflict in daily activities as well. Seek the win-win outcome wherever possible. People who do this have the most success.